Dear FOLKers: New Years Special - FOLK HOGAN

EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT 2011

Let’s talk about 2011 shall we? What was your year like? Mine was full of whiskey, and FOLK HOGAN. Here is the only stuff you need to know about 2011.

In April we played our first show, at the woodshed. It was a fundraiser for Ashley Shaw and her family, on a monday night. We had no problem with that because we drink until 1:00 every night anyways.

Back then tanner was playing Banjo because he hadn’t been eaten by a pterodactyl yet, and Jared was not yet our bass player due to the fact that on his comet ride from heaven he stopped at the “stripper factory” planet, and falling in love with a blue haired alien stripper, which in turn, made him late. They were simpler times; times when you could stretch a 25 minute set into 45 minutes. Back when we only had magnets to sell. A time when we actually had to ask for whiskey rather than Ian Nelson, manager of the Woodshed, throwing bottles of Jameson at us like a pissed off monkey flings his poo at a third grade class. Which looks kind of like this:

In May, we played at Burt’s tiki lounge for the first time.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=9aL5mbkagtQ

My wife, Toe, started the first official FOLK HOGAN mosh pit, rendering 400 people paralyzed. Jared was there but we wouldn’t let him take the stage due to the state his new alien-stripper-wife had left his anatomy in. He tried to argue otherwise, but we couldn’t let the fine patrons of Burt’s Tiki Lounge wonder why his bass seemed to float without the aid of a strap or hands. (Extra Credit: Think of Murderfaces bass solo from Metalocolypse. seen here

https://youtube.com/watch?v=yFFehjlRfy4

In June, shit got crazy. We played June 10th at The Woodshed. Jared’s “condition” had finally let up and we felt he was in good enough shape to drink too much whiskey. And too much whiskey it was indeed, enough to kill a human, but not enough to kill a god. Of course, we thought “what would be a better way to spend a hangover?

How about playing a show eleven hours later outside at a motorcycle shop? You can actually HEAR our hangovers! We sweat so much that people who reached out to touch our godly skin died of alcohol poisoning through osmosis. That night, at my wife’s birthday party, Tanner was eaten by a Pterodactyl. Why, because that’s the kind of shit that happens when we throw birthday parties.

Thus, the search was on. Where to find a banjo player with the capabilities of Tanner? Luckily, we knew the legend of our fellow god: Box. She had trained Tanner, so we knew she would be a perfect fit. We kidnapped her from her family (since she is only 14) and took her directly to a show at the underground, which at the time was probably the hottest place in town. About 150 degrees. Although box tried to get away at first, once we took the stage she felt right at home.

A few weeks later we started our summer madness by playing at Bar Deluxe. This show was recorded on HD cameras by Nick’s brother, as well as in HD audio by Nate Brown. Unfortunately, they miscalculated our awesomeness. Our music is so powerful that even the most advanced technology couldn’t handle it, and both of the systems failed.

Summer was then in full swing. We made our fist trek to ABG’S in Provo, and met some of the coolest people. Dane, the manager there fed us some of his famous barbecue, and the fans there got us nice and drunk.

We played on the outside patio at The Garage for the Last Day of Summer Scooter Rally, and armed with some awesome artwork by Sean Blake, we tore that bar to pieces. We exploded Kilby Court with an all ages massacre, and FOLK HOGAN youngest mosh pit featuring Rowyn the 19 month old marauder, and Violet the three year old threat. After some more appearances at The Woodshed, Burts Tiki Lounge and ABG’S, we participated in a battle of the bands at The Deerhunter Pub in Spanish Fork. It was a narrow victory, but we one by one point over the incredibly talented Kiss Me, Kill Me.

In September, we played a show for Jeremy’s girlfriend Sarah’s birthday. We were so out of control the cops showed up at 7:00 pm. That didn’t stop us though, WE ARE GODS, so we just kept going till the wee hours of the morning.

It had truly been an amazing summer, and we decided to take a month off and write and entire album. Which we did, because we are just THAT AMAZING. “What album?” you may ask. A concept album about the circus, Complete with songs about

*Ringmaster
*Lion Tamer
*Elephant Rider
*Fire Breather
*Illusionist
*Bearded Lady

…and so on! A musical menagerie assured to melt your minds.

With new songs under our belt, we started our attempt on raising money to record two albums.

We exploded out with two shows at ABG’S, we had the honor of being fetured on Etu’s podcast(etuspodcast.com) and then returned home to the woodshed with the enchanting Juana Ghani, and packed the place beyond capacity. It was an explosion of life, featuring the crowd favorite Skylar Hoellin tearing his sleeves off at knife point, Jill Torres pouring blood, Michelle Jean being hoisted in a chair, The Dragon controlling the crowd, Jake Gatenby lookin sexy, and of course taking center stage whiskey, whiskey, whiskey.

The year came to a close with two shows with The American Hitmen, at Deerhunter pub, and at Liquid Joes New Years Eve night with Kiss Me, Kill Me.

FOLK HOGAN loves you, and appreciates all the support we have received from all our fans, old and new, in 2011. We have had a spectacular year, and we look forward to making this year even crazier. Cheers to all of you who have given us your support, we wouldn’t be anything without any of you. Every show is special because of the crowd, because of the energy you give off for us to feed on. Let’s make a deal: If you keep it up, so will we. There are far too many people we would like to thank to list here, just know that if you have been to one of our show, or shared a link, or listened to our music, or watched one of our little videos then we appreciate you so very much. We played with some truly amazing bands last year, please support them as you support us.

Always remember that we love you….almost as much as you love us, which is an amazing amount,

M O S E S

Pin It on Pinterest